How did I get here? Two theories squashed!

Now that I have gobs of time on my hands, I have the opportunity to do a lot of things: get in shape, read books, think of words to play in Scrabble, make up fake careers for myself, write cover letters that are never answered, fashion protective suits to fend off swine flu, lots of things. Mostly, though, I've been reflecting on what got me to this place in my life, this very unemployed place.

I started college as a journalism major; in fact, I chose my university for its journalism program. A semester and a half into it, though, I realized that journalism (or at least the way it was taught at UM) wasn't about the craft of writing at all, but about writing copy that can be chopped up to accomodate ad space. Ten years later, it gives me great comfort to receive notice after notice in the mail from failing magazine after magazine, letting me know that the magazine has folded (and that my subscription will be converted to Southern Living -- three magazines so far have given me that as a consolation. Is it a sign from above that I should be baking more pecan pies? I'm not sure yet). Widespread newspaper and magazine death makes me feel confident in my decisions: had I gone down J-school road, I'd probably be just as unemployed as I am now. So, I can cross second-guessing that major change off my list of causes for me to be 28 and living in my mom's sewing room. Awesome!

Another decision that has haunted me: dropping out of grad school. Wait, back that up -- I dropped out before I started, and that is just so much more respectable. I was supposed to start a Master in Teaching program in the fall of 2003; I thought that I wanted to be a teacher, but after six or seven months of working with teachers during my pre-grad school internship, I realized, "oh my god, I never want to be a teacher." Luckily, my internship site had a permanent position for me and I did end up staying there for a few years. Before that, though, I had to tell my graduate advisor thanks, but no thanks -- to which she said, and I quote: "Really? You're passing on this to stay in Florida? Hopefully you won't get blown away by any hurricanes." Yeeeeeaaaah...adios.

Sometimes, though, I wonder -- should I have gone into teaching? (alternately: why was that woman allowed to advise students?) I do like teaching -- I have been was working (ha ha, you have no job, Self! Straighten out your verbs) in informal education for about six years and I loved it. But could I work in a classroom in a bureaucratic and red-tapey school district? Philosophically, probably not. Realistically? I need only look to any one of those dying newspapers to get my answer to that -- 522 teachers laid off in Ocala, another 300+ in Sarasota, more than 500 laid off in Marion County, Treasure Coast retirees and laid-off teachers having a sad-off for who most deserves a minimum wage position at a sports bar...even my brother's high school is talking about furloughing teachers and replacing them with substitutes. (Ain't nothing like Florida schools! Really...there's nothing quite like them...). If I had earned my graduate degree and become a teacher, there's a good chance that I would not be working tomorrow; at the very least, my job would probably be in peril. Again, I feel good about this. I'm not currently in peril of not having a job because I don't have one, and it's not because I blew off grad school! Awesome squared!